Preparing for my Transplant

As luck would have it, the 1st out of 2 tests they run to find me a match turned up 100% match from one of my siblings.  She said, usually the 2nd test runs a 99% chance that it will be a 100% match too.  I don't know which sibling it is, she wouldn't tell me.  I do know all my siblings are willing.  Everyone says, "of course they are." or "that's what family does." and if the tables were turned I would do it too, without a 2nd thought.  I don't think anyone knows though, exactly what it means to me.  For them it's 8 hours in a hospital bed having blood cycled out of their body taking stem cells before having it go back into their body, boring mostly.  Unless of course they get dizzy or cold or some weird side effect one might get while having their blood messed with for 4 hours a day.  To me, it's being able to eat and not get nauseous. To me it's walking up the stairs or showering without feeling winded.  To me it's not getting sick all the time.  To me, their blood is life, a new chance.  So while most are saying this is no big deal.... to me, it's everything.
I went to the doctor yesterday and my dad, Who always wants the best for me, says, "she's a little depressed."  I'm not entirely sure he's not right, I cry a lot and I'm sad.  I'd do anything to not have this happen to me, and I know other people have it worse.  I also know this is above any limit I think I could ever handle alone.  So, now I'm on anti depressants.  I'm not sure they've really changed me much.  I still feel pretty much the same although maybe not quite so sleepy.
Tomorrow I have another appointment.  Before I get chemo they run all kinds of tests.  They make sure you're heart, lungs, teeth, bones and even OBGYN checkup is all done.  So, besides your blood they make sure you are about as healthy as can be, before they go in and start killing you.
Now, I understand why they do this, if my heart is healthy it has less of a chance of just dying on me while I'm being giving drugs killing my body.  They don't want me to get teeth infections or all the other things I COULD get with no immune system.

Alma 26:12
Yea, I know that i am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will no boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.