Meeting Leuk

My name is Ruth.  As you can tell from my title I have Leukemia.  Actually, I have MDS, but if anyone tries to tell me it's NOT leukemia, I will kick their ass until they can't sit anymore.

I don't know why I decided to write this.  Probably something to do to fill my days and not become depressed.  Although I sometimes think I am depressed.  I've never really written in my life and this may turn out to be a big boring mistake.   

It is now mid July of 2015.  This adventure started while I was living in Brampton, ON in January.  I told my husband I had stomach pains and needed to see a doctor.  12 hours in the ER told us that I had an enlarged spleen and infarts (places on the spleen that were dying.)  The doctor said I would need extensive tests to find out why but all he did was send me home with pain pills.  I, of course, didn't have a doctor up there, so as I started to feel better I figured it was just a thing.  Nothing big.  Although, while at the hospital I got a blessing and in the blessing they said as I put my faith and trust in the Lord I will be cured from this.  (If you'd like to know what "blessing" means check out WWW.LDS.ORG)  This was my first clue that something might not be right.  

In April I was up all night throwing up and now the right side of my abdomen was hurting, so back to the hospital and this time I was admitted where they ran EVERY kind of test they could and finally ended with a bone marrow biopsy.  Since everyone wonders, YES it does hurt.  The drilling is annoying but it's when they suck out the marrow that sends shocks down your leg that makes you want to jump off the table.  I can say however the Doctor at LDS hospital did it SOOOO much better and it hardly hurt at all.  

Well, results came back I have MDS or "pre-cancer." They referred me to a cancer hospital in Toronto. I waited and waited for a call and still after 2 months  they never called me.  I returned to the hospital twice and both time heard "you NEED to get treated, this will get worse."  So, I came to Utah where I have received more care, attention and love in 2 weeks than I did in 5 months in Canada.  I don't like Canada's health system.  

So, my next entry I'll write about what's going on, how I'll be treated, what I've learned and of course.... how much I've cried.  

You know those people who are going through cancer and just seem happy all the time?  So far, that's not me.  I'm still looking for that hope to pop up.  I'm waiting to feel my heavenly father's love so strong that no matter what happens, I know I will be ok.  

So I will leave you with a quote:

"Don't be gloomy.  Do not dwell on unkind things.  Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.  Even if you are not happy, put a smile on your face. 'Accentuate the positive.'  Look a little deeper for the good.  Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, with great and strong purpose in your heart.  Love life."

~Gordon B Hinckley