Chemotherapy (often abbreviated to chemo and sometimes CTX or CTx) is a category of cancer treatment that uses chemical substances, especially one or more anti-cancer drugs (chemotherapy agents) that are given as part of standardized chemotherapy regimen.
So, that definition, sucks. Perhaps a better one (the one my doctor gave me) is: The ability of chemotherapy and/or radiation to kill cancer cells depends on its ability to halt cell division. Usually, the drugs work by damaging the RNA or DNA that tells the cell how to copy itself in division. If the cells are unable to divide, they die. The faster the cells are dividing, the more likely it is that chemotherapy will kill the cells, causing the tumor to shrink.
Although in my case, there is no tumor, my blood is just broken. As you can imagine, chemotherapy also halts good cells from dividing. So, why did my blood just decide to malfunction? According to the doctor, you can be the best driver in the world and still get hit by another driver. So, I'm just lucky. To make myself more lucky, I got a disease that usually happens to men over the age of 50. I don't know how or why I got sick. I am constantly working through the 5 stages of grief, there is a lot of bargaining going on, as you can imagine. "Get down on your knees and pray. Say, 'I'll do whatever you want God just let me have my way.'" ~Jewel There's also a lot of tears, anger, denial. In fact, this morning I didn't take my usual handful of pills, hoping that it wouldn't cause the usual nausea and vomiting. No such luck though, my stomach is still angry with me.
So, the reason I say I have leukemia, even though technically I don't have enough blast cells, or cancer cells for it to be considered leukemia, is that I still get to have chemotherapy. They don't leave me out of that fun. Although, I don't have to go through as much as some. I also get a bone marrow transplant. So, my treatment will consist of two types of chemotherapy.
Busulfan (Myleran)
Busulfan will be administered four times a day. Busulfan will suppress your bone marrow and destroy cancer cells. It has been associated with seizures, although this is uncommon. In order to prevent this risk of seizures you will be given a drug called levetivacetam (Keppra) for the time you are taking busulfan.
Side effects from busulfan include: thinned or brittle hair, darkened and dry skin, loss of appetite or weight, diarrhea, mouth blistering and fatigue. A long term side effect of busulfan called, pulmonary fibrosis is rare. This medication has also be associated with increased risk of developing other cancers in the future.
Cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan)
The most common side effect of cyclophosphamide is a decrease in the number of blood cells, with associated risks of infection, bleeding and red blood cell count. While being treated with cyclophosphamide, drink plenty of fluids because this drug can irritate your kidneys and bladder and create a condition called hemorrhagic cystitis (bleeding in the bladder). You will be given another medication called Mesna to help protect your bladder from the harmful effects of the cyclophosphamide along with large volumes of fluid. You will notice the need to empty your bladder frequently during this time.
Cyclophosphamide can also cause changes in fingernails and toenails. You may notice discoloration or lines and ridges. Cyclophosphamide rarely causes damage to the heart muscle. This is an unpredictable problem that may range from irregular heart rhythm to death.
Common side effects from cyclophosphamide include: nausea, vomiting, thinned or brittle hair, darkened and thickened skin, blistering skin or acne, loss of appetite or weight, blistering mouth sores, and fatigue.
So there it is, six days, one day short of a week from hell. One week of my life I'd rather die than live. Just for the record, I don't plan on dying!!!! I not only plan on making it through this but I will be cured!!!! I might be bald and slightly thinner and look different but I WILL get through this! Thanks to Kim Brown (a great friend of mine) I even have a great hair cut until I lose all mine. She even came to the hospital to cut it! A kindness I can't repay!
After this week from hell they send in the "rescue" cells. The cells taken (hopefully) from one of my siblings to help my now near dead body. You'd think that after that, your body would say "OH THANK YOU!!!" and you'd get on with your life, right? Not quite. Next entry I'll tell you about recovery.
As always I'll leave you with a quote:
"There will always be things to complain about-things that don't seem to go quite right. You can spend your days feeling sad, alone, misunderstood or unwanted. But that isn't the journey you had hoped for, and it isn't the journey Heavenly Father sent you to take. Remember, you are truly a daughter of God!
"With this in mind, I invite you to walk confindently and joyfully. Yes, the road has bumps and detours and even some hazards. But don't focus on them. Look for happiness your Father in Heaven has prepared for you in every step of your journey. Happiness is the destination, but it's also the path. 'Peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come' is what He promises. That is why he commands us to 'be of good cheer.'"
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf
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