I am weak. I envy people who can get up off the sofa alone. I envy those who don't fall down when they walk. I envy those who can go to the washroom without having their husbands get them up.
I envy those who don't get confused by time and food.
There have been so many times that I've asked myself why did this happen to me. The only answer I get is that I need it.
I really wish I didn't. Maybe it'll help with all this envy. My dad gave me a blessing that I would withstand the rest of what was coming. I won't let my family down, but I envy that normal life. I'm so tired, and I'm so weak.
Your perceived weakness is only physical. When God asks us to do something, He gives us the strength to do it. The mental toughness that you've shown as you've born the trials of this disease grows by the day. Do you understand that others watching you endure are amazed by your strength?
ReplyDeleteThe body is too busy healing itself to expend energy to your limbs. That body strength will be back soon enough. The mental strength you're building will remain a part of your character always.
May God bless and watch over you Ruth.