Happiness

Laying in my room with my defuser misting out the most amazing calming scent ever and thinking about this last year.  It's kind of exhausting thinking about it all but today I'm happy.

I'm really happy. Happier than I've been in a really long time. I'm going to write more tomorrow but for now I just want to tell everyone that I'm happy and that never would have happened without help from people who took time to love me!

Weak

I am weak. I envy people who can get up off the sofa alone. I envy those who don't fall down when they walk. I envy those who can go to the washroom without having their husbands get them up.
I envy those who don't get confused by time and food.
There have been so many times that I've asked myself why did this happen to me. The only answer I get is that I need it.
I really wish I didn't.  Maybe it'll help with all this envy. My dad gave me a blessing that I would withstand the rest of what was coming. I won't let my family down, but I envy that normal life. I'm so tired, and I'm so weak.