Well, I have good news and strange news. I think I'll save the strange for last. So yesterday I go to the doctor and they weigh me and I said oh no! The nurse looked at me and said "what's wrong? Did you gain weight?" I said, "no! I lost 8 more pounds this week they're gonna make me come back to the hospital!"
Well, they didn't make me come back but they did arrange for my GI doctor to see me this week so we can figure out why I'm throwing up all the time.
The doctor gave me great news, they did a bone marrow biopsy last week and they results showed no sign of abnormal cells or my disease. Of course they have no idea if this is permanent so they want to do a low dose of a kinda chemo. It won't make me lose my hair (that really isn't growing back in too well) but it might cause nausea.
So I got new jeans today, grabbed a size 3 sizes smaller than what I bought a year ago. 2 sizes smaller than what I wore in January I looked at them and said these are too small there is no way they'll fit. And they not only fit... they're loose.
So, the strange news... as most of you know, my brother donated the stem cells for my bone marrow transplant so, I basically have his blood in my body. All my own has probably died out or joined with his. So, if you were to run my blood to learn about me I have xy chromosomes, I would appear like a man. But if you check skin, hair, anywhere else I'm still xx.
Kinda creepy to think about. Lol am not half man?
OK, one last thing. I want to know what people do that always draws them closer to their father in heaven?
Friday, October 30, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Alone
I've been thinking a lot about me getting sick. I have so much love and support I'm surprised since I've done nothing to deserve it. I'm never alone I always have help anytime I ask for it. But I am alone too, no one could possibly understand what I felt or went through.
I remember laying in bed dreaming that there was someone else there and when I got sick or in pain I'd take turns with that other person feeling it. Then I'd wake up and realize it's just me, I'm alone. No one else can do this for me I have to be stronger. Now I don't think I picked up any extra personalities but I did realize one thing. Someone else does know what I felt. He knows when I'm worried, sad, afraid of dying, he knew everything I went through and probably did take turns with me feeling the pain.
I had my Palm read once and there is a break in my life line and my fate line. When I asked what that meant he said something big will happen to you that will change the way you live. Maybe this is it. Maybe I will learn better to accept help and live worthy of help. Maybe I'll be able to pay it all forward and return a fraction of the love people have shown me. Most of all maybe I'll have a better relationship with my father in heaven.
I remember laying in bed dreaming that there was someone else there and when I got sick or in pain I'd take turns with that other person feeling it. Then I'd wake up and realize it's just me, I'm alone. No one else can do this for me I have to be stronger. Now I don't think I picked up any extra personalities but I did realize one thing. Someone else does know what I felt. He knows when I'm worried, sad, afraid of dying, he knew everything I went through and probably did take turns with me feeling the pain.
I had my Palm read once and there is a break in my life line and my fate line. When I asked what that meant he said something big will happen to you that will change the way you live. Maybe this is it. Maybe I will learn better to accept help and live worthy of help. Maybe I'll be able to pay it all forward and return a fraction of the love people have shown me. Most of all maybe I'll have a better relationship with my father in heaven.
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