I know why no one really talks about chemo. It's an ugly emotional journey. If you're not sick you're scared to death of being sick sometimes you just want to always sleep and sometimes you want to sleep and can't. Throwing up seems so normal to me that I can't really say chemo has made it bad. I have been far worse at home. Of course, there is the thing about losing all my hair. Yesterday I washed it, let it air dry then started running my straightener through it. Well, by the time i finished one row, half the hair was on my lap so I quit. The nurse took the clippers and its all gone. I didn't want to make something of it. Watching it slowly fall out would've been worse.
I was reminded by a good friend that sometimes great people saying the things that don't really help me are just prayers. Maybe not the right thing to say but meant in the best way.
I have so many people praying and hoping for me I feel spoiled. Through this journey i've never meant to hurt anyone who may have said something I didn't like. I hope I didn't hurt anyone. I've never cried so much or been so afraid, I've never done anything this hard in my whole life. And I know I couldn't do it without all the support I have from family, friends and my Father in Heaven.
Thank you for all the little prayers and words of strength!
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